We have all been tested over the past months; some physically, others mentally and spiritually, as we attempt to make sense of a pandemic. I notice my thoughts jumping from wondering how we will get through this to hoping for a healthier planet to compassion for those who are experiencing sickness and lost loved ones; back and forth, in no particular order.

I’ve harkened back to this old John Lennon lyric many times throughout my life, when things didn’t go according to my plan. It’s brought me comfort to remember this happens to all humans, though I can’t say that I liked it very much. I think that’s true for most people – they may give in to, or even accept the concept but not exactly embrace what comes their way.

Receptive communication sounds like an oxymoron, yet the two words are actually synonymous in the world of relationship coaching. As a practicing marriage and family therapist since 1985, I have listened to hundreds...okay, 1985; I guess - thousands, of couples tell me that their problem is communication. 

One  of the nicest things about having a blog is that it provides a recorded history, similar to journal writing. I can see that I’ve not written here for almost six months!
At the time of my last blog I wrote about looking for an illustrator for my young adult book, “It’s an Inside-Out World.” The project has since evolved to help school age children find greater mental health and wellbeing in schools and in their daily lives.

Valentine’s Day can be fraught with unmet expectations, disappointments, pressures, and dissatisfied egos. On the other hand, it can be enjoyed as a day set aside to honor and rejoice in the magnificent human capacity to feel love.

The following is an excerpt taken from an interview with Dr. Dicken and Coizie Bettinger for a book on relationships and the 3 Principles that I’m writing with Chris Heath.

Ever wake up thinking something like: “Life is so difficult” — or have a day where one too many things have gone wrong, or felt as though the last straw has finally broken your strong back? I think every one of us can say we’ve had those moments, or days, or even a bad month, perhaps year; I know I certainly have.

Very happy people all have one thing in common, though most of them don’t even know what it is. The truth about supremely happy people is that they spend more time living in positive, upbeat thinking than the rest of the population. They don’t do it on purpose; it’s natural to them.

Or is it our ability to think, that has the power? In fact, our ability to think has to be powered by the same life force that powers our heart and lungs. Our ability to think is accompanied by the free will to think anything! I learned this from Sydney Banks, who, in 1973, discovered that we all operate from three Principles: Divine Mind, Thought and Consciousness, which taken together give us an experience of our lives every second we are alive.

I didn’t see the person who wasn’t very clear in yesterday’s meeting or the one who got embarrassed making eye contact with the handsome stranger in Whole Foods. I saw beyond all of that, I saw right through to my essence and I fell deeply in love.

What is invisible, yet incredibly powerful? What is at work all the time, whether we’re aware of it or not? What is the “mechanism” always available to us that dictates our every action? What is an amazing gift that every human receives at birth? What is completely free for the taking in every moment of life?

What exactly does it mean to escape reality? I’ve heard those words bandied about with some frequency. People go to movies, shop, drink, and get high to “escape reality.”

An interesting thing to contemplate, especially this time of year with holiday parties and all sorts of merry-making to take us away from our typical (hopefully healthy) routines. Maintaining healthy self-discipline can be a burden in the best conditions. So I thought it valuable to reflect and have a deeper look at what self-discipline really involves.