Emotional intelligence is….wisdom…common sense….intuition.. You’ve already experienced the voice of wisdom when you consider others’ feelings, have greater patience with others, give kindness, are sensitive to the other person, pick your battles in a heated interaction, stop blaming others for how you feel, forgive others. When you listen and follow your voice of wisdom….you bring out the best of you…while bringing out the best in others.

The statement stopped me in my tracks. What an interesting idea, I thought. “I don’t know you well enough to lie to you.” It was spoken recently by a new friend of mine.

It’s true we didn’t know each other well; this was only the 4th get together. We were headed for a picnic on the lawn at Tanglewood, geared up to see Yo-Yo-Ma.

One sentence: “I Don’t Know You Well Enough to Lie to You” blinked internal neon lights at me.

I had an interesting dream just before waking up today. It seemed to beg for reflection and sure enough I saw something a little deeper, about listening in a way that connects people, than ever before. I had to write about my discovery.

Looking back through the years, I think every one of my clients have asked this question in different ways. They have wondered if they should love their spouses unconditionally like they love their children. They wondered if they were letting their partners take advantage of them or if they were letting them get away with something they shouldn’t. They wondered what was wrong with their relationship because their partner stopped courting them and things had gotten way too comfortable.